Written by Nicole Wittauer, Life Coach
The voices of self-sabotage come in many disguises, and more often than not, they pretend to be on our side. That’s why they’re so good at their job!
Here are six characters that sneak into our lives without announcing themselves, but once you’re aware of them, you have a better chance of catching them in the act and reversing their power.
- The Self-Depreciator
The most obvious saboteur is the voice that judges us and tells us about what we’re not good at. He/she will be the one to tell you that you’re too young, too old, not educated enough, lacking experience, too shy, skinny, fat, short, tall, late, sensitive, scared, fragile, impressionable… you name it. Whatever it is you need to hear to believe that you will fail by taking a risk, the voice will say it.
- The Pessimist
This Saboteur loves to foresee the worst that could happen. He/she assumes that it’s going to rain, you’ll surely hit traffic, the job opening will already be filled, and whatever you were thinking of doing, it just won’t be worth all the effort.
Although the pessimist may not be making you feel bad about yourself, he/she will still stop you from putting yourself out there to experience something potentially amazing, so when you listen… their work is done!
- The Comparer
Funny how, when we look at the things we’ve achieved in a bubble, we can be quite happy with ourselves, but as soon as we find out that someone else has done something similar, but “better”, our happiness goes down the drain. The comparer loves to bring our attention to other people’s achievements to discourage us from pursuing greater things. It makes you believe that life is a competition and you are not even in the running.
- The Dweller of the Past
Ah, if only we’d had a better childhood, gotten better grades, followed our dreams when we were young, hadn’t met the dirtbag that broke our heart, gone to University, taken a gap-year to explore the world. The dweller of the past finds every excuse for not achieving our dreams because something, somewhere in our past, is responsible for where we are now. This one has a great argument to keep us right where they want us. After all, we cannot change the past!
- The Non-Believer
This saboteur loves to play the victim, because everything seems to be beyond their control. The non-believer will give away your power at the sight of external challenges, rather than believing that you’ve got what it takes to deal with it. He/she will say things like: “My boss will be angry and I won’t know how to respond”, “I can’t deal with stupid people”, “I’m going to be 10 minutes late, and it’s going to affect my confidence walking into the meeting”, etc.
- The Blamer
Does this one really need an introduction? Sure, some things are beyond our control, but blaming others and particular circumstances is just a way to remove our ability to do something about it. It’s pure sabotage at work!
Saboteurs are Russian dolls. Just when you think you know what’s inside, you have a new one to deal with. Hopefully by now you’ve discovered some of the subtleties these characters hold within, and your curiosity has grown to try and dismantle the negative self-talk that has probably become part of your routine if not your identity.
I was amazed to discover the intricate manoeuvres of my own saboteurs, and I’m sure that some of them are still at work as I write these words. I only started to understand aspects of my saboteurs once I was far enough away from the situation to actually take the bird’s-eye view.
That said, saboteurs are amazingly resourceful. They not only tell us whatever works to stay clear of the unknown, they will also tell us what we want to hear to keep the illusion of our Identity intact. Because let’s be honest, there is no worse question to be faced with than one which shakes up every inch of our being because we’re doubting the foundation of our beliefs.
So here we are. The big question of Identity is upon us, and exploring how our saboteurs have infiltrated their way into the core of our being is a really fascinating one. For most of us, they have become such an integral part of who we think we are that we might not recognize ourselves without them.
Hmmm… That sounds like a true saboteur at work, doesn’t it?
If our subconscious mind hates the unknown, exploring our identity without the voices in our head to dictate who we must be, how we must feel and what we must do and not do, is the biggest red flag we could possibly come across! The chance of being faced with a void, an empty space, the great unknown is way too risky!
And there lies the biggest deceit of them all. For fear of what we might discover (or worse, not discover), we prefer to stay committed to the identity we have created for ourselves, saboteurs included. Yet when we explore the great landscape of all that we have to offer without stopping at every hurdle our saboteurs put in our way, amazing things shine through and we are able to step into our greatest power.
But to do that, we have to let go of the idea that we need to know where we’re going. Remember when I said: I guarantee that the true you is much more beautiful than you can imagine? It’s inevitable, because the true you is all that you are capable of without your limiting beliefs? Once you detach yourself from these deceitful voices, all that there can be is a more beautiful and confident version of you!
About the Author
Nicole Wittauer coaches individuals, teams and entrepreneurs to deepen their connection to the Self and others, bringing more meaning, purpose and fulfilment into their lives. She is known for her uniquely creative and spiritual learning approach, which creates deep shifts while staying playful and keeping clients out of their critical mind.
