You Can’t Beat Mum’s Cooking…Why we need to break the bias this International Womens Day

There’s a meme going around on social media with a dad holding a fast food bag and the caption reads ‘fun dad’. On the other half of the screen is a mum holding the same fast food bag and the caption reads ‘lazy mum’.

“On this International Women’s Day, we need to break this bias” says leading paediatric dietitian and nutritionist, Sarah Almond Bushell, who questions why there are such double standards?

Mums are expected to plan, shop, cook and serve wholesome nutritious meals, day in day out. And when she doesn’t, she’s lazy. But it’s ok for dads to rock up with a takeaway? In fact, it’s more than ok, it’s depicted as a treat!

“I’m not dad bashing,” says Almond-Bushell, “I’m pointing out double standards so we can start a conversation to make us aware of just how differently mums and dads are viewed when they’re doing the exact same thing.

I think many of us feel the pressure to be good mums. We’re told we should be eating home-cooked dinners with all of us gathered around the kitchen table, sharing one wholesome meal.”

But is it an obligation?

Do we do it because our culture conditions us to think that this is one of the most important ways to show our love and care for our children?

There is a whole lot of hard work that goes into planning, making, and coordinating family meals. Cooking for some is an activity they enjoy but for others it can be stressful, filled with time pressures, financial worries (ingredients can be expensive) and also the burden of pleasing others.

The reality is that parents work and come home tired, kids go to bed early and so need to eat earlier than mum and dad, everyone has their own likes and dislikes and sometimes it really is just too exhausting to cook a meal from scratch, let alone have everyone sitting around happily sharing food together.

And meal planning, shopping, prep, cooking and even the dishes, it doesn’t have to be a mum’s job. But it has become part of our cultural identity.

According to sociologist Sharon Hays, to be a good mum today, a woman must demonstrate intense devotion to her children, and home-cooked meals have become the hallmark of good mothering.

But you don’t have to embrace cooking to show your love for your children.

Research tells us that children who eat dinner with their families at least five times a week do better in school. They’re less likely to smoke, drink or abuse drugs. They have higher self-esteem. They’re less likely to be overweight or to suffer from eating disorders. It’s effects are both physical and emotional.

And so if we can strive for this we absolutely should. But nowhere does it say everything has to be prepared from scratch.

Moreover, it doesn’t always have to fall to the mum to get a family meal on the table.

Women have less time now than they did a generation ago.

So, how can we stop this? Here are Sarah Almond Bushell’s suggestions:

1. The media to stop using phrases like ‘food is a sign of love’ or ‘you can’t beat mum’s cooking’ as this implies a gender stereotype, that mums do the cooking and so if they choose not to cook it can lead to feelings like guilt and shame for not conforming to their ‘role’

2. Families share out tasks, from the weekly food shop, planning and prepping meals as well as cooking or when you might want to get a takeaway. And if you have older children give them a chore too.

3. Use convenience foods, buy ready prepared meals, learn to interpret food labels so you can make the most nutritious and time saving choices, not all pre-prepared foods are bad for you.

4. Show your children that you love them every singly day, by doing fun stuff together, that’s not food-related!

For more tips and advice from Sarah see www.childrensnutrition.co.uk

About Lisa Baker, Editor, Wellbeing News 4214 Articles
Editor Lisa Baker is passionate about the benefits of a holistic approach to healing. Lisa is a qualified Vibrational Therapist and has qualifications in Auricular Therapy, Massage, Kinesiology, Crystal Healing, Seichem and is a Reiki Master.